All Balls Don’t Bounce

Completely Random Sports Non Sequiturs From A Completely Random Hip Hop Head


Posted by hiphopmama on December 26, 2008

posey mouthguard

Let you see my what?

Last year it was the tights, this year it’s the mouth guard. In past years, I’ve almost never thought about or even noticed players wearing protective mouth guards, perhaps aside from the multicolored variety sported by the likes of James Posey. This season, though, I can hardly watch a game without seeing a player or two messing around with their mouth guard, popping it in and out, holding it between their teeth, and generally drawing attention to it for some reason or other. As a proud obsessive compulsive, I understand how easy it is for nervous habits like this to appear and entrench themselves. What I don’t get is how it has suddenly spread throughout the league like some sort of cute trend, like high socks or fauxhawks, especially since it’s been largely nonexistent in the past. Who was the innovator who jump-started this fad? So often these trends come from hip hop culture, but I don’t remember seeing rappers dangling plastic mouth guards from their jaws. “Before a blunt I take out my fronts” is a pretty obscure reference point for a new fashion statement, so I have to assume there was some genius trendsetter within the ranks of basketball players who sparked it. The league won’t jump in to stop this one like it did with the dangerous pantyhose issue a season ago – god save us, they’re wearing nylons! – but I’d much rather see the mouthguard thing go than the tights. I get achy legs, I get it. If you need some women’s fashion to get you through a tough 48, do your thing. But if you’re going to wear a mouth guard, leave it in your damn mouth and get on with the game. Unless it’s encrusted with diamonds, no one wants to see that shit.


5 Responses to “Grillz”

  1. Diana said

    What about headbands? Sasha rocks the Euro-style one…and there’s that guy with the super curly brown hair who wears one, I can’t think of his name. I think he’s on the Cavs. Pau looks like he could wear one, but he seems to have either a superior haircut or just superior hair, because it just flops around but doesn’t ever get in his eyes.

  2. Diana said

    Also- sweatbands. D-Fish, Paul Pierce, and Rajon Rondo come to mind. At least it serves a purpose. They just have to decide to wear it over the ears or not. And I think that D-Fish is the only one in the NBA rocking the WWJD bracelet though…

  3. Danielle said

    hahaha. oh man. yuh, yuh grill yuh, yuh-yuh grill.

    • hiphopmama said

      “Smile for me, daddy” – classic.

      Yeah, cranial accessories are big this year. Headbands have been making a comeback for a while, although the skinny Euro-style soccer player ones are new, like Sasha’s and Varejao’s (the Cavs dude). But those don’t bug me. They put those on and leave them alone. I’m sick of watching them pull out their mouth guards and having that long rope of saliva snap back in their face. It’s mildly amusing…the first ten or twenty times. But quit chewing on them, please. It’s not cute and it doesn’t make you look cool. And yes, Pau Gasol clearly has superior follicles. There are some soccer players like that too. They have long hair that inexplicably stays out of their eyes. Mind-blowing.

  4. KJ said

    Found where they get those guards from…… pretty cool.

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