All Balls Don’t Bounce

Completely Random Sports Non Sequiturs From A Completely Random Hip Hop Head

Posts Tagged ‘west ham’

DirecTV Hates Me

Posted by hiphopmama on April 25, 2009

dtvWord of warning: This post contains nothing informative whatsoever, except incidentally. It is simply a rant, no more no less. Proceed accordingly.

So DirecTV fucked up another Saturday of soccer-watching for me. They keep hitting us up with these specials that allow us to get every channel under the sun for a few months, in the hopes that we’ll screw up and forget to cancel it when the deal runs out. We never do, so they make no money off us for it, but whenever we call to cancel their little “premium” package, they ALSO delete all our other extras, including Setanta, the sports package, and our DVR service. Therefore, this morning, in the middle of the first match of the day (in this case, West Ham-Chelsea), my husband makes the call and they flip the switch and my recordings all mysteriously cut off because I’m no longer “authorized” to view their “content.” Bleh. By the time I notice it, it’s a couple hours later, all my recordings have been effectively ruined, and I have to sit on the phone for 45 minutes to try to clear up the problem, itching to be watching Tottenham with a two-goal lead over ManU at Old Trafford. Oh the humanity.

Then, of course, they’re not re-airing any of the games I missed because of the snafu, meaning I won’t get to see the rest of a thrilling encounter between London rivals (sarcasm here) or the better half of the Tottenham game. I can, however, see Man City-Everton multiple times between now and midnight, which doens’t help me much since I don’t give two shits about that game, but I’m assed out when it comes to Chelsea and ManU. Double bleh.

All of which illustrates my complete and utter dependence on soccer (and sports in general – woe betide anyone who ever fucks with my Lakers coverage), as it essentially ruined my morning. You mean to say I’ll miss out on approximately 90 minutes of soccer spanning two games? And you won’t be rebroadcasting it?? How do you expect me to live like that? It’s not like I don’t have anything else to do – this weekend I actually do have plans – but I can’t stomach the idea of missing the big games, even if they would only occupy the fringes of my time. Does that make me more or less of a loser? The debate rages on….

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What I’m Watching This Weekend

Posted by hiphopmama on December 12, 2008

As if you gave a damn. =) I’m looking forward to a good weekend of sports viewing, and I just had to share it all with you. Because I’m self-centered like that.

El Clasico: Barcelona v Real Madrid

This is numero uno on my schedule this weekend. As impossible as it sounds, I’m kind of indifferent to the outcome of this game, so I can just enjoy the intensity of it all without sweating the result. Barcelona is currently six points clear at the top of the table, while Real Madrid sits in fifth, nine points adrift of the Blaugrana. I expect it to be a hotly contested affair with lots of highlights, but I also expect that it won’t be particularly close in the end, with Barça winning it in their typical eye-popping style. As long as both teams come to play – as I fully expect – and not just to thwart the other team, it should live up to the hype. 

Tottenham v Manchester United

Dimitar Berbatov returns to White Hart Lane to take on a surging Spurs side that has remade its season under Harry Redknapp. The newly crowned Ballon d’Or winner Cristiano Ronaldo will be entertaining as always, even if only in his monstrously exaggerated attempts to get fouls calls on the opposing team. 

Chelsea v West Ham

Chelsea will hope to regain their form at the formerly formidable Stamford Bridge (I know, I know, excessive) in the London derby against the East End Hammers. Only trailing Liverpool by one point, Chelsea have a chance to overtake them at the top of the table depending on how it all shakes out. Drogba is finally back in action, so Scolari has the (un)enviable problem of deciding how to play his star-studded front line with both Didier and Anelka chomping at the bit. Anelka has been outstanding this year, but he has been less than stellar at the Bridge and Drogba is coming off a spectacular goal against Cluj in Champions League play this week. West Ham are looking to stop a horrendous slide in which they haven’t won a game since September. Good luck turning it around against Chelsea.

Juventus v AC Milan

These two teams will be duking it out for sole possession of second place in Serie A, behind only Inter in the standings. Milan have moved into prime position in the table despite some middling performances, while Juve have been on a bit of a tear. A win would be more of a statement for Milan at this point.

Buccaneers v Falcons

Atlanta is currently one game behind Tampa Bay, who sits one game behind Carolina in the shockingly good NFC South. With the Panthers facing a tough three games to close the season, this game could help propel either of these teams into the playoff mix.

Giants v Cowboys

Yet another crucial game in the always tough NFC East. Go Eli. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Timberwolves v Lakers

This SHOULDN’T be a good game, but with the Lakers you never know. As I just heard Stu Lantz say, this is the most misleading 18-3 (now 19-3) record you will see. Still, the Timberwolves shouldn’t be able to push us too hard. Right? I think I’m trying to convince myself.

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Wednesday EPL Results

Posted by hiphopmama on October 30, 2008

Arsenal 4-4 Tottenham

  • 0-1 David Bentley, 13′
  • 1-1 Mikael Silvestre, 37′
  • 2-1 William Gallas, 46′
  • 3-1 Emmanuel Adebayor, 64′
  • 3-2 Darren Bent, 67′
  • 4-2 Robin Van Persie, 68′
  • 4-3 Jermaine Jenas, 89′
  • 4-4 Aaron Lennon, 90′

I didn’t get to see the match – along with devalued currency, one of the perils of living in the U.S. – but I can certainly say that it’s a disappointing result for the Gunners. There were plenty of storylines here, not the least of which was Harry Redknapp’s second game at the helm for Spurs, and he proved himself yet again with a high-stakes draw secured at the last second (almost literally) when Aaron Lennon put the ball in off the rebound after Modric’s shot bounced off the post. Plenty of yellow cards, mostly for Spurs (Diaby did get one at the very end), and hotly contested throughout. Or so I heard.

Hull 0-3 Chelsea

  • 0-1 Frank Lampard, 3′
  • 0-2 Nicolas Anelka, 50′
  • 0-3 Florent Malouda, 75′

Chelsea got back on the bandwagon after the loss against Liverpool over the weekend broke their undefeated streak at Stamford Bridge. The Blues burst Hull’s bubble, bringing the recently promoted team back down to earth and reminding them how hard it is to compete against this level of competition for a whole season. Hull were tied with Chelsea on points (behind in goal differential) going into the game, but Chelsea were light years ahead of them on the pitch. Lampard’s 3rd minute chip shot set the tone, and Chelsea never really let up. Hull got themselves some good chances to equalize, but the next score came from Anelka in the 50th minute as the half drew to a close. Malouda added the third in the 75th to seal the deal. Chelsea remain in second place, three points behind LIverpool, and Hull drop to fifth, tied at 20 points with Aston Villa and Man Utd.

Man Utd 2-0 West Ham

  • 1-0 Cristiano Ronaldo, 14′
  • 2-0 Cristiano Ronaldo, 30′

Liverpool 1-0 Portsmouth

  • 1-0 Steven Gerrard, 75′ pen

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Saturday EPL Results

Posted by hiphopmama on September 21, 2008

Sunderland 2 – 0 Middlesbrough

  • Sunderland started the game dismally, but after Stewart Downing sent a penalty kick over the cross bar, Sunderland were re-energized and Chopra scored both goals in the last ten minutes to give them the win.

West Ham 3 – 1 Newcastle

  • West Ham’s new manager Gianfranco Zola got a win with two goals and an assist from David Di Michele. Owen scored Newcastle’s goal, but it wasn’t nearly enough. The Magpies continue to look awful.

Blackburn 1 – 0 Fulham

  • This hard-nosed battle wasn’t won until the 84th minute. Carlos Villanueva sent in a nice cross from the left side which Roque Santa Cruz headed down into dangerous territory, and Matt Derbyshire knocked it home. Blackburn manager Ince looked good for bringing in both Villanueva and Derbyshire as subs late in the game.

Liverpool 0 – 0 Stoke City

  • Steven Gerrard struck one in off a direct kick from the left side, but the goal was disallowed for an apparent “off side” call. Kuyt was near the goal line, but the call was dubious, even according to the Stoke manager after the game. Liverpool kept the pressure on, but they just couldn’t pull the trigger, especially Torres. It was a disappointing draw that let Arsenal slip by them into first place.

Bolton 1 – 3 Arsenal

  • Arsenal played pretty impressively in this one, especially in the first half. They had myriad chances to score early goals, but Bolton grabbed the lead first on a header by Kevin Davies off a corner kick in the 14th minute. It was weak defending on the set piece, but Arsenal immediately turned around and put them under pressure. They saw a couple go off the woodwork, but eventually (three minutes later) Eboue put one in from the left side off a pass from Bendtner. It was Eboue’s first Premier League goal, and he played aggressively the rest of the way, looking to duplicate it. Bendtner then scored one himself off some nice, Arsenal style build-up play. Bolton upped the pressure in the second half, but Almunia especially played well, taking balls decisively and making some nice saves, and Arsenal added a third goal by Denilson which was set up by a blazing run by Theo Walcott. I suppose they could have played some stouter defense in the second half, but all around it was a good win for Arsenal, and it put them back at the top of the table. The low point of the match was a harsh foul (which only earned a yellow card) by Kevin Davies which sent Clichy out of the game with a bad-looking leg injury. (Update: Clichy suffered only bruising to his shin, with no fracture. Whew.)

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